I know, I know, only a Sith deals in absolutes. Anyway, this is an obligatory end of the year post that’s a day late, because I never finish anything I start on time. This kind of stuff usually works best with bigger lists. Especially since I have such a hard time picking a best of/worst of anything. But I’m going to force myself to pick a best and worst, and a biggest surprise for each of the main media type things I consume regularly. For anyone just tuning in to my rants, that’s books, movies, video games, TV and toys. I like to leave music alone, because I just hate so goddamn much of it, and there really isn’t any good reason for it.
But that’s another rant. So… here we go with 2012 In Absolutes*.
*please keep in mind that I haven’t seen, played or read many things that were released this year. In regards to books, I haven’t read hardly anything at all that was released this year, so I’ll be dealing instead with the ones that I did indeed read, many of which were only really popularized this year because of movie tie-ins.
So, while thrifting recently, I happened upon a SEGA Dreamcast, with 3 controllers and a memory card for a whopping 5 bucks. You might not know about the Dreamcast. “Isn’t that something that bloggers argue about in regards to upcoming anticipated movies based on intellectual properties they already love?”
SEGA’s Dreamcast is the straw that broke their console camel’s back. The console failed so hard, and so spectacularly that SEGA, a company that had gone toe-to-toe with Nintendo for over 3 generations of consoles, said “Fuck it… lets put Sonic on the Gamecube.”
So, if this console sucked so badly it killed an entire production segment of a company, I probably should have just left it sitting there in Frenchy’s in the goddamn comforter bag someone tossed it into. But I can make you this promise, dear reader: I love video games, and I can say with certainty that if I see a console, any working console, for 5 bucks… and I don’t have it… I’m buying that sonnuvabitch on the spot. Even if it didn’t come with a game.
“What the hell does any of that have to do with Virtua Tennis?” you’re possibly asking yourself. “The title clearly states this is a review of Virtua Tennis. I paid my 4 bits to see a Virtua Tennis review, an’ I’mma gonna sees a Virtua Tennis review.” Well, as it turns out, the Dreamcast I bought did have a game with it after all. After taking it out of the bag, and opening the disc tray, some kind hearted soul had shoved their copy of goddamn Virtua Tennis inside, a shiny piss-yellow coloured pearl in a giant blocky clam.
There’s an alarming trend in Zombie related media these days. It seems that in recent years, Zombies are getting more and more serious. I love a good, serious Zombie story as much as the next Fat Guy With Glasses, and I’ve been around the zombie block enough times to know that all this observation of the human condition that’s been taking place on shows like “The Walking Dead” and movies like “World War Z” is actually the genre returning to its preachy horror suspense roots. None of that, however, keeps me from missing the comedy gore fests that dominated the 80s and 90s.
“Dead-Alive”, or “Braindead” depending on your location, is in this FGWG’s not-always-that-humble opinion, the pinnacle of the horror comedy genre.