What the fuck did I just watch? Why did I watch all of it? What is wrong with me? Seriously. There’s something not firing right in my brain. I watched the whole thing. I’m reasonably sure that watching the entirety of this movie qualifies me as a self-mutilator now, and that I may need to be put on some kind of self-harm watch list.
I mean, sure, it’s a Canadian made, Direct-to-Video, Superhero movie. I went in knowing it would be bad… maybe even awful. But I had no idea it’d be like this. Never like this.
There’s an old Norse saying: “When the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars then peace will guide the planets and love will steer the stars.” At least I think that’s an old Norse saying. I might be confusing it with something else.
In Thor: The Dark World Chris Hemworth once again dons hammer and cape of the Odinson, Thor. This time, the fate of the entire 9 realms is in his hands. A phenomenon known as “The Convergence”, the alignment of all 9 realms, approaches. This once-every-five-millenia occurence causes all sorts of bizarre spatial and gravitational side effects on each realm, which offers the evil Dark Elf Malekith a chance to put them all at risk.