So, while thrifting recently, I happened upon a SEGA Dreamcast, with 3 controllers and a memory card for a whopping 5 bucks. You might not know about the Dreamcast. “Isn’t that something that bloggers argue about in regards to upcoming anticipated movies based on intellectual properties they already love?”
SEGA’s Dreamcast is the straw that broke their console camel’s back. The console failed so hard, and so spectacularly that SEGA, a company that had gone toe-to-toe with Nintendo for over 3 generations of consoles, said “Fuck it… lets put Sonic on the Gamecube.”
So, if this console sucked so badly it killed an entire production segment of a company, I probably should have just left it sitting there in Frenchy’s in the goddamn comforter bag someone tossed it into. But I can make you this promise, dear reader: I love video games, and I can say with certainty that if I see a console, any working console, for 5 bucks… and I don’t have it… I’m buying that sonnuvabitch on the spot. Even if it didn’t come with a game.
“What the hell does any of that have to do with Virtua Tennis?” you’re possibly asking yourself. “The title clearly states this is a review of Virtua Tennis. I paid my 4 bits to see a Virtua Tennis review, an’ I’mma gonna sees a Virtua Tennis review.” Well, as it turns out, the Dreamcast I bought did have a game with it after all. After taking it out of the bag, and opening the disc tray, some kind hearted soul had shoved their copy of goddamn Virtua Tennis inside, a shiny piss-yellow coloured pearl in a giant blocky clam.