Masters of the Universe: The Power of He-Man (Atari 2600)

b_MastersOfTheUniverse_INTV_frontToday, Sept 12, was apparently Video Game Day.  I don’t know who decided it, or how official it is, but I saw it when Ken Jeong retweeted Community‘s twitter account… so it must be legit.

So, in the spirit of this very real, totally not randomly assigned “holiday”, I decided it was high time to do something I’ve wanted to do for about 30 years.  I decided I would finally play Masters of the Universe: The Power of He-Man for the Atari 2600.

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Happy “Bring Your Man-E-Faces to Work” Day… 2015!

So, yeah, I haven’t been writing… and yeah, “Bring Your Man-E-Faces to Work” Day 2014 is still on the front page… but I’ve needed an excuse to break the silence for a long damn time, and I didn’t want it to be a post about not posting.

As I said last year, “Bring Your Man-E-Faces to Work” Day is awesome, even in spite of its frustratingly unnecessary quotation marks.  Again, not my fault, blame the guy who created the Facebook Page.

Here’s my favourite picture of the day, and there are more pictures “after the jump” or whatever the kids are calling that “Continue Reading” link below.  I’ve been out of the loop for months, don’t you judge me if I don’t know the lingo.

Yuuup... There's yer problem.  This here is a "Land Shark" and you're tryin' to run it in the ocean.  Ain't gonna work, son.  Ain't gonna work.

Yuuup… There’s yer problem. This here is a “Land Shark” and you’re tryin’ to run it in the ocean. Ain’t gonna work, son. Ain’t gonna work.

 

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The Liebster Award (with All New* 2016 Updates!)

Awesomely Stolen Bandwidth

I got awarded an extremely important award for Outstanding Achievement in Excellence.  Brikhaus nominated me, with others, for this Liebster Award thing.  Here is what it means:

The Liebster Award is given to a blogger who has less than 200 followers. Liebster in German means “beloved, favorite, dearest.” The goal of the Liebster Award is the help new or growing blogs connect with other bloggers. It’s a good way for readers to discover new blogs.

At first, I thought I shouldn’t qualify because this December will be my 5 Year On-And-Off-Iversary, so I wouldn’t say my blog is “new”, and my promotion is non-existent and my posting schedule is practically pre-menopausal levels of erratic.  I say that as a early-to-mid-30s man who knows nothing about menopause.  But being a man, I must assume I know everything, and that it’s either erratic, non-dependable, or basically non-occuring, which is how I like to schedule my posts.  So I wouldn’t call it growing, either.

Anyway, where was I going with that?  Oh yeah.  I probably shouldn’t qualify.  But since this thing is asking me to talk about me, and talking about me is easy, because I’m me, and I know what I’m thinking, I figured fuck it.  Let’s talk.

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Found On the Internet: Etheria Q

Youtuber RafiSG put together this little stop-motion mesh of Masters of the Universe/Princess of Power characters and Avenue Q, the musical play that takes a different look at Millenials and Sesame Street.  The figures are from Mattel’s Masters of the Universe Classics line, and it’s just more proof of how incredibly awesome the line is.

Mattel & Funko are Evil.

I find it incredibly funny how things work sometimes.

I’m not exactly sure how old Funko’s Pop! Vinyl Figure line has been going, but I can remember what I said the first time I ever saw one.

“That’s the stupidest fucking thing I think I’ve ever seen in my life.”

I was looking at a wall of Marvel and DC figures in Chibi form, with price tags in the $20 range.  They were sitting next to a shelf of dusty looking bobble-heads.  I noted this, because I thought next to shitty bobble-heads is exactly where this shitty set of Chibi Fantastic Four Folks belonged.

“You’ll never catch me buying one of those,” I said outloud to no one in particular.  I like to talk to myself, because being a huge neckbearded mother fucker looking at a wall of old toys doesn’t make me seem creepy enough.

Last year, though, I discovered they were making a Masters of the Universe set in their line.  I skimmed over a few articles on the subject.  The line was going to consist of He-Man, Skeletor, Hordak, She-Ra and Beast Man.   Nothing really shocking there, and I found myself giving only the smallest, casual sort of fuck about the line.

I never wrote about them, I never commented on them, I certainly never looked into what it would take to buy one of them.

So, how the fuck did I end up with one?

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Dolph Double Dip

Bubbawheat, over at Flights, Tights and Movie Nights is running a little something called “The Comic Strip Double Dip Blogathon“.  The idea is to get all us writey types to focus our creative energies on one specific topic.  In this case, it’s exploring the performances of actors who have taken on more than one Comic Book inspired movie role.  He put together a big list, making it easy to pick out a topic, and right around the middle of it, staring back at me was the perfect excuse to re-watch two movies I’ve been dying to revisit for years.

DolphLundgren

That’s right…  Dolph Lundgren:  Frank Castle/He-Man.  Dolph plays Frank Castle in 1989’s The Punisher, and he plays He-Man in 1987’s Masters of the Universe.  I’ve got a few thoughts about these movies in general before we delve deep into Dolph dichotomy discussion.

Both of these films are widely viewed as completely awful movies that don’t do any justice to their source material. Oddly, in both cases, I remember thinking that they were, in fact, widely underrated.  On a more personal note, since I’m not a big Rocky fan (I like Rocky III, and acknowledge Rocky is something special), these two roles, for me, are Dolph’s defining roles.  I mean, I can name at least two other non-Expendables titles he’s been in, but these two movies I remember as Dolph Lundgren movies.

So, without further ado… let us determine the answer to the age old question that no one has ever bothered to ask…  “Who does Dolph Lundgren play better, He-man or Frank Castle?”

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2012 In Absolutes

2012

I know, I know, only a Sith deals in absolutes.  Anyway, this is an obligatory end of the year post that’s a day late, because I never finish anything I start on time.  This kind of stuff usually works best with bigger lists.  Especially since I have such a hard time picking a best of/worst of anything.  But I’m going to force myself to pick a best and worst, and a biggest surprise for each of the main media type things I consume regularly.  For anyone just tuning in to my rants, that’s books, movies, video games, TV and toys.  I like to leave music alone, because I just hate so goddamn much of it, and there really isn’t any good reason for it.

But that’s another rant.  So… here we go with 2012 In Absolutes*.

*please keep in mind that I haven’t seen, played or read many things that were released this year.  In regards to books, I haven’t read hardly anything at all that was released this year, so I’ll be dealing instead with the ones that I did indeed read, many of which were only really popularized this year because of movie tie-ins.

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I Got.

So almost 4 years ago, I made a post about a mind blowingly amazing new thing they were making. It was the beginning of the new Masters of the Universe Classics line.  Available only through Mattel’s online Collector’s store, Matty Collector, I was pretty sure I’d never be able to get one.  The price point was too high for me at the time.  I was between credit cards, so buying online was a huge hassle.  Since they were going to be a very limited run, I figured I would go without forever.

But that’s not the case.  

Sucker.

So, Mel wanted to go to The Salvation Army (TSA) again tonight.  There was talk of a couch or something there.  I was very worried.  But we went anyway.  Fortunately for me, the couch was a much bigger piece of shit than she had remembered, and far worse than the one we have.  Score.  So I don’t have to move a couch.  With that ordeal wrapping up in my favour, I turned my attention to the kids shit… because as a Fat Guy With Glasses, I still have an unhealthy affinity for plastic molded in the forms of nerd icons and stuff from my childhood.

Turns out there was a C-3PO carrying case that said it was made in ’83.  It wasn’t busted all to fuck, and it was sitting in a bin at TSA, so I was doubtful.  But it was only 2 or 3 bucks or something, so I ended up getting it.  After some quick ebay and Google searches, it turns out it was actually from the mid 90s Star Wars revival.  So it’s not from my childhood at all. I feel duped.  
I know it’s my own fault, though.  There was a time when I could tell you exactly what a Darth Vader with a 2 3/4 inch lightsaber in a 3 3/4 lightsaber tray was worth, when it was produced and what the asian kid that slapped it together made for an hourly wage.  Now I’d have to think about which one was 4-LOM and which one was Zuckuss.  (4-LOM was a droid, so that should make recognition easier, I suppose.)
Pop Quiz! Who’s Who?
I’ve lost touch with my inner Fat Kid With Glasses He Never Wears ‘Cause He’s Still Trying To Fit In.   Sure, I still send him e-mails from time to time… but he’s on Facebook now, and it’s really awkward ’cause I don’t really need to know what his current status is every 3 seconds so I don’t do the whole Facebook thing.  And he’s all uptight about it because everyone’s on Facebook and I should just join Facebook already so we can keep in touch, and I’m all like, “Dude, seriously, back off with the Facebook, ok?” and now we don’t really connect as much as we should.  So I bought him this C-3PO thing and it’s not good enough and now he’s all like “I don’t even like Threepio, douche.”  It’s really annoying too, ’cause things were starting to get better since a few weeks ago I bought him this Spikor figure at this store he really likes for 3 bucks, but now I’ve gone and fucked it all up, I guess.   Way to go, man.  I should plug in the NES and smooth things over, but then he’d probably just bitch about having to give away his Atari again.  Fuckin’ ingrate.