2012 In Absolutes

2012

I know, I know, only a Sith deals in absolutes.  Anyway, this is an obligatory end of the year post that’s a day late, because I never finish anything I start on time.  This kind of stuff usually works best with bigger lists.  Especially since I have such a hard time picking a best of/worst of anything.  But I’m going to force myself to pick a best and worst, and a biggest surprise for each of the main media type things I consume regularly.  For anyone just tuning in to my rants, that’s books, movies, video games, TV and toys.  I like to leave music alone, because I just hate so goddamn much of it, and there really isn’t any good reason for it.

But that’s another rant.  So… here we go with 2012 In Absolutes*.

*please keep in mind that I haven’t seen, played or read many things that were released this year.  In regards to books, I haven’t read hardly anything at all that was released this year, so I’ll be dealing instead with the ones that I did indeed read, many of which were only really popularized this year because of movie tie-ins.

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Paragon Forever

Patty at Wentworths
Patty Prestige at her favourite location.


Already Gone:

Well, it’s been a rough year for me electronically. All other aspects of life have been on varied. Most things, at times, have managed to be “Shitty”, “Poor”, “Negotiable”, “Great”, “Fantastic” and “Fan-fucking-tastic”. But, for me, on the electronic escapism front, 2012 has sucked copious amounts of sagging, wrinkly, greying, wiry scrotum hairs. That’s disgusting. I know. I won’t apologize though. That’s how I’ve felt about the handling of my two favourite video game franchises this year.

First off, this spring BioWare cut and pasted a picture of a steaming dung pile into where the end of the Mass Effect trilogy was supposed to be. I had intended to ride out the spring and summer months with near constant replays of ME3. Instead, the ending left me with a poor taste in my mouth and effectively killed any interest I had in ever replaying any game in the series. But that’s another post. (One that I’ve tried to write, but couldn’t find the words.)

Tonight (or today, if it happens to be daytime where ever you are right now) I want to vent about the shit that Korean publisher NCSoft took on one of their most successful games, City of Heroes.

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Awesome.

Being a fat guy with glasses can be hard sometimes. There’s this gigantic urge inside you to tear apart everything that you see, bitch and moan about it on the internet, and feel better about yourself as a person. But there are some things… things that are so special… so unimaginably awesome… no amount of nitpicking, growling, ranting, pissing or moaning can make them unawesome.

These things include (but are not limited to) in no particular order:

  • Finding money.
  • Video (Home or Professional, it makes no difference) of Explosions.
  • Zombies. (Important Note: I said Zombies, not Zombie movies. The fictional monsters themselves are incredibly awesome beyond belief. They are not, however, awesome enough to make anything that features them automatically awesome. That’s right, I’m looking at you, “The Zombie Diaries”.)
  • Fucking. Both the word and the act.
  • Having the ability to fix shit that’s broken, without paying someone.
  • Fireworks.
  • The original PSA of Astar the Robot.