Safety Not Guaranteed (2012)

Safety Not GuaranteedWANTED: Someone to go back in time with me.  This is not a joke.  You’ll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. I have only done this once before. SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED.”

Aubrey Plaza plays Aubrey Plaza Darius, a young, blunt, disinterested intern who’s still looking for something to give her life meaning. Up and Coming “That Guy!™” Jake Johnson plays her narcissistic writer boss, Jeff. Along with another socially awkward intern, this unlikely trio travel out to a small Washington town in search of the man who placed the above ad.

Eventually they find Kenneth, played by another up and coming “That Guy!™” Mark Duplass.  When Kenneth gets spooked by Jeff, it’s up to Aubrey Darius to reel him in if they ever want to find out just how crazy Kenneth is… or isn’t.

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In a World… (2013)

In_a_World_poster[1]Somewhere, a while ago, I saw Lake Bell–or maybe Rob Cordry? I don’t know.  I saw someone, damn it–talking about this movie to someone… Conan, Ferguson, Jon Stewart?  Fuckin’ vague memories.  I hate ’em.  Whenever it was, I filed it away in the mental file marked, “That Sounds Interesting To Me, But Not Enough To Ever Seek It Out.”  And that’s why whoever photoshopped the movie poster for this one is a mother fucking genius.

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Review Grab Bag (1-12-14): Meanwhile… in Canada Edition

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It’s the first Fat Guy With Glasses post of 2014!  Woo!  New Years and shit!  It’s 2014’s first Review Grab Bag.  As you all know, a Review Grab Bag is a like a paper bag lunch, full of a few paragraphs on some things that I just wasn’t able to write a long winded, “insightful” review about.  It’s also kinda list-esque, if you squint and tilt your head a bit.

Since it’s a contractual obligation for every blogger to have their first post of any given year be either a Happy New Year post, or some kind of list, this is what you get.  Sure, it’s usually supposed to be a Best/Worst list or an “I’m certainly never doing this again” list, I think the Blog Police will let me slide with this… as long as I wish everyone a Happy New Year at some point.

As it turns out, as an overall percentage, I watched a large number of Canadian Indie Films in 2013.  Some, like One Week, or Adventures of Thunderstorm:  Return of Thor, I was able to eek out full reviews for.  Others, my impressions were not so easy to articulate.  Sorry, you’ll just have to settle for a couple paragraphs abuht each, eh?

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One Week (2008)

OneWeekReleased to festivals in 2008, and in limited showings across Canada in 2009, One Week was written and directed by Michael McGowan.  It’s one of those inspiring movies meant to teach you to seize the day and live life on your own terms and whatnot.  This is not normally the type of thing I go for.  But there is one sure-fire way to get me to watch an inspiring soul-searching road movie…

Make it Canadian.

One Week stars Joshua Jackson as Ben Tyler.  It opens with Ben in his doctor’s office.  Ben’s told he’s got Stage IV cancer, and even with treatment… he’s probably done.  On his way home, Ben sees a motorcycle being sold by the guy from Beachcombers.  As he rolls up his Tim Horton’s Coffee Rim, it tells him to “Go west, young man”.  He tells his fiancée (Liane Balaban) he’s doing just that, bails on treatment and heads out looking for an adventure.

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Alter Egos (2012)

AlterEgosJordan Galland’s Alter Egos asks what would happen to all the world’s super-heroes, once all the super-villains are locked up.  Brendan (Kris Lemche), and his super hero alter-ego Fridge (short for Refrigerator).  Brendan’s stuck in a rut.  He feels run down and unappreciated.  His girlfriend has been cheating on him with his alter-ego, Fridge.  In the meantime, Fridge has been called to a remote motel by the Super Corps aid fellow hero C-Thru (Joey Kern) in what should be a run-of-the-mill prisoner transfer.  Things get complicated when Brendan falls for the desk clerk, Claudel (Brooke Nevin), and draws unwanted attention of her jealous police officer admirer, Jimmy (Danny Masterson, That 70s Show).

On one hand, Alter Egos seems to attempt to mix The Incredibles with Suicide Kings.  However, in the other it ends up throwing in ham-fisted globs of Indie Rom-Com in, removing whatever semblance of originality it might have had.

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Dog Pound (2010)

Dog PoundDog Pound follows the story of three unrelated juvenile delinquents that all enter the Enola Vale Youth Correctional Center at the same time.  Angel (Mateo Morales) is a particularly young looking boy who gave armed assault and grand theft auto a try.  Davis (Shane “Spinner” Kippel of Degrassi:  The Next Generation) thought possession with intent to sell might be fun.  Butch (Adam Butcher) is already in a correctional facility when we meet him.  Obviously, he longs for more discipline… and earns a trip to Enola Vale by pushing his thumbs into a CO’s eyes, 28 Days Later style.  These three new fish attempt to make the best of their new surroundings, and might even have a chance, if they can stay on their CO’s good side, while simultaneously avoiding the attention of Enola Vale’s resident King-Shit, Banks (Taylor Poulin).

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Review Grab Bag (10/2/11)

Welcome again to the Review Grab Bag…  the Review Free-For-All.  If it can be reviewed, it’s fair game… good, great, bad or steaming pile of shit.

As always the Review Grab Bag has an open call to any and all guest reviewers.  The rules are simple:

  1. Have an opinion on a thing.
  2. Write a paragraph or two about it, and e-mail it to me at hamwallet@gmail.com.
  3. Make her open the box.
  4. And that’s the way you do it.
In today’s Grab Bag we have 3 movies, and a downloadable XBox360 title.