Masters of the Universe: The Power of He-Man (Atari 2600)

b_MastersOfTheUniverse_INTV_frontToday, Sept 12, was apparently Video Game Day.  I don’t know who decided it, or how official it is, but I saw it when Ken Jeong retweeted Community‘s twitter account… so it must be legit.

So, in the spirit of this very real, totally not randomly assigned “holiday”, I decided it was high time to do something I’ve wanted to do for about 30 years.  I decided I would finally play Masters of the Universe: The Power of He-Man for the Atari 2600.

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Found on the Internet: Skeletor & Skeletor play with their Skeletors.

That’s Brian Dobson, who voiced Skeletor in the 2002 CN Masters of the Universe series, and the great Alan Oppenheimer, who voiced Skeletor (and about half of the rest of the characters) in the original 80s series.  They’re playing with figures of the characters they helped make famous (infamous?).

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The Liebster Award (with All New* 2016 Updates!)

Awesomely Stolen Bandwidth

I got awarded an extremely important award for Outstanding Achievement in Excellence.  Brikhaus nominated me, with others, for this Liebster Award thing.  Here is what it means:

The Liebster Award is given to a blogger who has less than 200 followers. Liebster in German means “beloved, favorite, dearest.” The goal of the Liebster Award is the help new or growing blogs connect with other bloggers. It’s a good way for readers to discover new blogs.

At first, I thought I shouldn’t qualify because this December will be my 5 Year On-And-Off-Iversary, so I wouldn’t say my blog is “new”, and my promotion is non-existent and my posting schedule is practically pre-menopausal levels of erratic.  I say that as a early-to-mid-30s man who knows nothing about menopause.  But being a man, I must assume I know everything, and that it’s either erratic, non-dependable, or basically non-occuring, which is how I like to schedule my posts.  So I wouldn’t call it growing, either.

Anyway, where was I going with that?  Oh yeah.  I probably shouldn’t qualify.  But since this thing is asking me to talk about me, and talking about me is easy, because I’m me, and I know what I’m thinking, I figured fuck it.  Let’s talk.

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Found On the Internet: Etheria Q

Youtuber RafiSG put together this little stop-motion mesh of Masters of the Universe/Princess of Power characters and Avenue Q, the musical play that takes a different look at Millenials and Sesame Street.  The figures are from Mattel’s Masters of the Universe Classics line, and it’s just more proof of how incredibly awesome the line is.

Mattel & Funko are Evil.

I find it incredibly funny how things work sometimes.

I’m not exactly sure how old Funko’s Pop! Vinyl Figure line has been going, but I can remember what I said the first time I ever saw one.

“That’s the stupidest fucking thing I think I’ve ever seen in my life.”

I was looking at a wall of Marvel and DC figures in Chibi form, with price tags in the $20 range.  They were sitting next to a shelf of dusty looking bobble-heads.  I noted this, because I thought next to shitty bobble-heads is exactly where this shitty set of Chibi Fantastic Four Folks belonged.

“You’ll never catch me buying one of those,” I said outloud to no one in particular.  I like to talk to myself, because being a huge neckbearded mother fucker looking at a wall of old toys doesn’t make me seem creepy enough.

Last year, though, I discovered they were making a Masters of the Universe set in their line.  I skimmed over a few articles on the subject.  The line was going to consist of He-Man, Skeletor, Hordak, She-Ra and Beast Man.   Nothing really shocking there, and I found myself giving only the smallest, casual sort of fuck about the line.

I never wrote about them, I never commented on them, I certainly never looked into what it would take to buy one of them.

So, how the fuck did I end up with one?

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Dolph Double Dip

Bubbawheat, over at Flights, Tights and Movie Nights is running a little something called “The Comic Strip Double Dip Blogathon“.  The idea is to get all us writey types to focus our creative energies on one specific topic.  In this case, it’s exploring the performances of actors who have taken on more than one Comic Book inspired movie role.  He put together a big list, making it easy to pick out a topic, and right around the middle of it, staring back at me was the perfect excuse to re-watch two movies I’ve been dying to revisit for years.

DolphLundgren

That’s right…  Dolph Lundgren:  Frank Castle/He-Man.  Dolph plays Frank Castle in 1989’s The Punisher, and he plays He-Man in 1987’s Masters of the Universe.  I’ve got a few thoughts about these movies in general before we delve deep into Dolph dichotomy discussion.

Both of these films are widely viewed as completely awful movies that don’t do any justice to their source material. Oddly, in both cases, I remember thinking that they were, in fact, widely underrated.  On a more personal note, since I’m not a big Rocky fan (I like Rocky III, and acknowledge Rocky is something special), these two roles, for me, are Dolph’s defining roles.  I mean, I can name at least two other non-Expendables titles he’s been in, but these two movies I remember as Dolph Lundgren movies.

So, without further ado… let us determine the answer to the age old question that no one has ever bothered to ask…  “Who does Dolph Lundgren play better, He-man or Frank Castle?”

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I Got.

So almost 4 years ago, I made a post about a mind blowingly amazing new thing they were making. It was the beginning of the new Masters of the Universe Classics line.  Available only through Mattel’s online Collector’s store, Matty Collector, I was pretty sure I’d never be able to get one.  The price point was too high for me at the time.  I was between credit cards, so buying online was a huge hassle.  Since they were going to be a very limited run, I figured I would go without forever.

But that’s not the case.  

Fat Dad With Glasses: Influence

With great power comes great responsibility.

So now that my darling little rugrat is approaching a year and a half old, she’s getting smart. She’s also starting to show interest in things on TV. She’s noticing how we’ll play certain ways with certain toys. Because I’m slow, and not very bright, I’m just starting to realize how unimaginably quick she is to notice things, remember things and repeat things. This means it’s high time to start exposing her to awesomeness in all its forms.

She hasn’t got a chance.

Over the past few months, with a little help from Mom & Dad, she’s started to develop several different favourites. Her favourite animals at the moment are raccoons, horses, frogs and bunnies. She absolutely loves reading any books. She now loves the classic cast of Sesame Street (Pre-Elmo, that is. Elmo can go tickle himself, for all I care.) She also likes Yo Gabba Gabba.

But thanks to yours truly, she’s also in love with stuff that is fucking awesome. One of her favourite toys is a Hulk action figure. When she picks it up, she shouts “HULK! RRRAAAARRRGHHHHH!” Her favourite cartoons are ’67’s Spider-man and She-Ra: Princess of Power. She practically loses her shit when their theme songs start. I tried getting her to watch He-Man and the Masters of the Universe first, but she had nothing to do with it. Maybe once she’s more interested in She-Ra’s origins… Also, on that sheet up there, she likes to point out Yoda. Why? ‘Cause he’s Yoda. Duh. Kids fucking love Yoda.

And now she’s awake.

You’re not seriously posting this are you, Dad?

I want.

I know, it being this close to Christmas, it’s a terrible thing to start saying “I want this”, “I want that”, etc…  but I just found out that they’re finally selling these:

BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL!

They’re new toys made in a similar design to the old ones, but made larger, with more articulation and detail.  I had heard about them quite a few months ago, but they only started pre-selling them online about 2 weeks ago.  

Of course, with them only being in limited supply, and only available through an online store, for me to get one would cost me more than they’d actually be worth.  So I can’t see me getting one.  As a matter of fact, I shouldn’t really even be writing about it.  But the only other thing on my mind at the moment is how much I think “Terminator 4” is going to suck, and how much the current season of “Heroes” actually does suck.
So yeah…  in summary… I’m a Fat Guy With Glasses.