The Liebster Award (with All New* 2016 Updates!)

Awesomely Stolen Bandwidth

I got awarded an extremely important award for Outstanding Achievement in Excellence.  Brikhaus nominated me, with others, for this Liebster Award thing.  Here is what it means:

The Liebster Award is given to a blogger who has less than 200 followers. Liebster in German means “beloved, favorite, dearest.” The goal of the Liebster Award is the help new or growing blogs connect with other bloggers. It’s a good way for readers to discover new blogs.

At first, I thought I shouldn’t qualify because this December will be my 5 Year On-And-Off-Iversary, so I wouldn’t say my blog is “new”, and my promotion is non-existent and my posting schedule is practically pre-menopausal levels of erratic.  I say that as a early-to-mid-30s man who knows nothing about menopause.  But being a man, I must assume I know everything, and that it’s either erratic, non-dependable, or basically non-occuring, which is how I like to schedule my posts.  So I wouldn’t call it growing, either.

Anyway, where was I going with that?  Oh yeah.  I probably shouldn’t qualify.  But since this thing is asking me to talk about me, and talking about me is easy, because I’m me, and I know what I’m thinking, I figured fuck it.  Let’s talk.

Continue reading

Advertisements

I Got.

So almost 4 years ago, I made a post about a mind blowingly amazing new thing they were making. It was the beginning of the new Masters of the Universe Classics line.  Available only through Mattel’s online Collector’s store, Matty Collector, I was pretty sure I’d never be able to get one.  The price point was too high for me at the time.  I was between credit cards, so buying online was a huge hassle.  Since they were going to be a very limited run, I figured I would go without forever.

But that’s not the case.  

Review Grab Bag (10/2/11)

Welcome again to the Review Grab Bag…  the Review Free-For-All.  If it can be reviewed, it’s fair game… good, great, bad or steaming pile of shit.

As always the Review Grab Bag has an open call to any and all guest reviewers.  The rules are simple:

  1. Have an opinion on a thing.
  2. Write a paragraph or two about it, and e-mail it to me at hamwallet@gmail.com.
  3. Make her open the box.
  4. And that’s the way you do it.
In today’s Grab Bag we have 3 movies, and a downloadable XBox360 title.

The Lion King (1994)

Disney may be making another mad grab for cash, digging through “the vault” and re-releasing a remastered, 3D-ified The Lion King in theatres this weekend, but that just means it’s even more timely that I review the unremastered, original, March 3rd, 1995 released, VH-fucking-S cassette tape that my family sat down to watch last weekend.

Hashtag:  Old School, Mother Fucker.







The Circle of Life:

Recently, Mel decided that we should have a Wonderful World of Disney type viewing of various Disney classics, and not-so-classics, and ugh-I-hate-that-garbage-ics on Sunday afternoons.  The reason being, because when we were growing up and had to deal with TFC cable, (that’s Two Fucking Channel for the uninitiated) a highly concentrated source of cartoons could be found on CBC when they aired WWoD.  Since we (she) liked this as kids, obviously we need to try to replicate the situation so that Charlotte grows up thinking that all awesome things are awesome and whatever the hell kids are doing these days is lame.  (Hey, I can dream.)

Now, most of our collection of Disney movies is on VHS.  So that meant making sure the VCR was hooked up and working.  A quick run through with a headcleaner a few weeks ago and we were ready to go.  Just pop in The Lion King and enjoy the majesty.

Fuck no.  I forgot Disney movies have commercials.  Shit tons of commercials.  One of the commercials was the entire “Colors of the Wind” sequence from Pocahontas.  So yeah… 20 minutes later and the movie starts.

ZAAAAAAA!  ZE B’WINGYA!  OBADEECHI BADA!  OH WING YAMA!


The Lion King is a great goddamn movie.  In my opinion, it’s probably the best of the Disney movies.  It’s moving.  It’s hilarious.  It’s suspenseful.  The songs are catchy.  The catchphrases are catchier…  I had actually half-forgotten how many quotable lines there were.  The opening sequence is textbook great film making, let alone great animation-making (is that a thing?  That doesn’t sound like a thing.  It can’t be a thing.  I probably shouldn’t use it).  It is outright iconic.  Everyone who has had a child since 1994 has held their baby up into the sunlight muttering “CHUNG!”  Very few scenes are repeated this often in real life.  There’s this, “You Talkin’ To Me?”, The Orange peel from The Godfather, and “I’m King of the World!”

Pictured:  Mandatory Baby Display Technique

But to sum up how great I think this movie is:  Even though it reminds me of a girl that tore my heart out in High School, it’s so fucking good that I watch it anyway… and fucking love it.  But I digress.  I know it’s a complete ripoff of Kimba the White Lion, and it’s still so good that I don’t care.  I know that whining crazy people have tried to ruin it for me by saying Scar is a bad influence on kids because they think he’s gay.  Oh… that makes him a bad influence.  Not regicide… or fucking fratricide… or being such a shit ruler that completely ignores counsel and runs his kingdom into the ground.  Those don’t make him a bad influence… but the fact that his paws are limp during a fucking song and dance number means he’s going to ruin us all.  I know all that… and the movie blocks it out with only the power of its own sheer awesomenitude.

VHS Forever.

So, aside from the total nostalgia trip of the movie… there’s also the nostalgia trip of the technology.  Have you played a VHS tape recently?  Goddamn that is an awesome experience to revisit.  Yes, I’m admitting that, until just recently, I hadn’t really sat down to watch a movie on VHS in years.

I got to run the whole gamut.  I got to get mad at myself for not rewinding.  I got to get mad at myself for not remember to stop rewinding before the previews started.   I got to wonder if auto-tracking was going to be enough, or if I’d have to fiddle with the settings myself.  I got to pause the screen, and have a shaky image with distortions running all through it.  I was warned that the movie had been formatted to fit my screen.  (No it hadn’t.)  When it was over and I rewound it, I got to worry about whether or not the tape was getting eaten.  Damn those VCRs can make some freaky ass sounds.  I swear at one point it sounded like Cookie Monster.

OM NOM NOM!

So… yeah.  I do wish that The Lion King had been re-released a few years from now, instead of now, so that I could have taken Charlotte to go see it.  Regardless, even during an old, worn out, VHS, low definition, mono-sound, 2D viewing The Lion King is still epic.

5/5

Review Grab Bag (9/12/11)

Another new feature here at FGWG… it’s the Review Grab Bag…  Basically what we have here is a spot for me to say something about the odds and ends I watch, play, read, whatever, that I don’t really feel strongly enough about to warrant a large scale review of their own.  Like all Grab Bags and boxes of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.  If it can be reviewed, it’s fair game… good, great, bad or steaming pile of shit.

I’d also love for the Review Grab Bag to become a spot for guest reviewers.  The rules are simple:

  1. Have an opinion on a thing.
  2. Write a paragraph or two about it, and e-mail it to me at hamwallet@gmail.com.
  3. ????
  4. Profit.*
This week in the grab bag we have 4 movies.