Review Grab Bag (1-12-14): Meanwhile… in Canada Edition

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It’s the first Fat Guy With Glasses post of 2014!  Woo!  New Years and shit!  It’s 2014’s first Review Grab Bag.  As you all know, a Review Grab Bag is a like a paper bag lunch, full of a few paragraphs on some things that I just wasn’t able to write a long winded, “insightful” review about.  It’s also kinda list-esque, if you squint and tilt your head a bit.

Since it’s a contractual obligation for every blogger to have their first post of any given year be either a Happy New Year post, or some kind of list, this is what you get.  Sure, it’s usually supposed to be a Best/Worst list or an “I’m certainly never doing this again” list, I think the Blog Police will let me slide with this… as long as I wish everyone a Happy New Year at some point.

As it turns out, as an overall percentage, I watched a large number of Canadian Indie Films in 2013.  Some, like One Week, or Adventures of Thunderstorm:  Return of Thor, I was able to eek out full reviews for.  Others, my impressions were not so easy to articulate.  Sorry, you’ll just have to settle for a couple paragraphs abuht each, eh?

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Phoning It In: Christmas Music

Well, it’s that time of year again.  With only one week until the big day, Christmas Music is once again taking over the airwaves.  And, once again, I got to hear the same joyous chestnut twice today.  Did you know it’s Christmas time?  I was only moderately aware that it was until the song came on and reminded me.  Twice.

It reminded me of a time 5 years plus a week ago when the same thing happened.

Phoning It In: The Crow (1994)

The CrowIt’s pretty much the end of October, and I still haven’t posted yet!  Since I’m not about to churn out my first impressions of the first 3 episodes of The Walking Dead Season 4 tonight, I’m pretty much going to have to phone one in this month.

But, hey!  It’s Devil’s Night!  I haven’t watched The Crow in about 5 years.  The following is a review I wrote on Epinions.com pretty much exactly 10 years before my wife’s labour kicked it into high gear before our daughter was born.

I can’t say I actually remember the night, but I can pretty much assume how it went.  Mel and I got wrecked at a mutual friends place, came back to “our” (my) room in the dorms, watched The Crow, and headed off to the computer lab to waste time on the internet.  Sometime after 2, I probably played some Wild 9 on the PS1 and watched an episode or 12 of Rurouni Kenshin.  Yeah, even back then our Saturday nights were off the hook.

Anyway, click Continue Reading if you want to read my assessment of my 50th or so watching of The Crow, that was probably watched high, possibly written high, definitely written poorly.

Phoning It In: Worms: Armageddon (Playstation)

Here’s a review I wrote on Epinions.com 13 years ago today.  It’s for a fantastic party game from a time when I attended parties, Worms:  Armageddon.  The Worms series had been around for a number of years, even back then.  Now the franchise is a staple title of the downloadable game market.

Oh Dear!

Worms Armageddon [U] [SLUS-00888]-frontWorms: Armageddon” recently crawled on to my Playstation. I played the original “Worms” game for the computer about two years ago for the first time, and fell in love with it. Basically, the series is a mixture of the classic games “Lemmings” and “Scorched Earth“. You and up to 3 friends have a team of 4 worms, who try and blow the living daylights out of one another. The last team standing wins the war.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
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Phoning It In: Female Force #1: Betty White

I’ve been pretty busy tearing apart our bathroom this weekend, so I haven’t really had time to consume any media that I care to write about.  But since I’m still trying to get a hang of things here at WordPress, and I don’t want to go too long without posting something…  It must be time for another installment of Phoning It In… Where I post something I wrote somewhere else a long, long, time ago.  Today’s entry comes from Goodreads on July 6th, 2011.

 

Female Force: Betty WhiteFemale Force: Betty White by Patrick McCray

I’m a tremendous fan of comic books. My wife is a tremendous fan of Betty White. Obviously, the moment we discovered the existence of this gem, we needed to have it.

 

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Phoning It In: R2-D2 Puzz 3D

I feel like I’ve slowed down on my posts this week.  It’s not because I’ve lost interest.  It’s just because this week has afforded me a lot of time to slack off and play video games.  I started out tonight making a post about that.  Then, when it started taking too long, I decided, “Fuck that.”  Instead, I’m going to phone one in.

Here’s a review I made 11 years ago today on an R2-D2 Puzz 3D.  Between the Blu Ray releases, and the recent discussion of 3D this seems kind of fitting.  (Okay, the 3D thing is stretching it a bit.  I doubt there were many puzzle purists railing against the onslaught of 3D puzzles in the marketplace.)

And It Makes A Lovely Hat.

And It Makes A Lovely Hat!

Ahh… the joys of University life. Life is simple in the Joy Kidd Residence. Quiet, Peaceful, Serene. That is until Third River wakes up. The hall has always been synonymous with ridiculousness. Our first year, random hall events such as the Pantsless Drag Races down the hall, were almost constantly getting on the nerves of our proctor (Hall Rule Enforcer Guy), Cam. Often, procrastination creates boredom. This boredom was quite frequently the cause of our ridiculousness. So when we returned the next year, what was Cam to do? The obvious choice was to create a constructive, fun, non-class related project that we could all enjoy. R2-D2 was it. 

Cam had received it as a Christmas present the year before. He was always too busy to be bothered with it. So, he contracted the Ridiculous Fan-Boys of Third River to construct this wondrous monument to that fun loving harbinger of comic relief. 

Of course, we attacked the project with the vigor only a group of young students who will do anything to avoid school work can muster. Most of the work was done by yours truly, and a close personal friend of mine, Brian. I focused on the arms (or legs, I guess) and the half spherical head of that cute little Droid. Brian focused on the torso, and assembling the completed pieces. 

But that’s enough of my pointless story. It’s time to get down to the good and bad things about R2-D2. As far as puzzles go, he is quite a challenge. It took us the better part of a week to build him. There are lots of helpful pictures on the box. I really enjoyed the challenge. But Artoo was great fun to build. After I built the head, I got to wear it around as a hat. When Brian was finished with the torso, we attached that to the head, and I wore that as a hat. I was stylin’. 

There are a few bad things about it. Like after about 5 hours straight of looking at the colors blue, grey and white… your eyes might start bleeding. This is never good. It is time to put the pieces away. 

On a serious note, there are several waste pieces… fortunately, Cam and Brian had gotten rid of most of them before I tackled the project. Also, once you’ve completed the head and torso, they fit together quite well. But the arm-legs don’t attach together all that easily. 

In the Star Wars saga, R2-D2 gets blasted or shot by something at least twice a movie, and it never really phases him. They should make all their vehicles out of the same material as that little guy. This puzzle, however, is not made out of the same alloy. It would take less than a stiff breeze to blow it apart. It needs some kind of sturdy display area, lest there be much swearing in your home as it breaks over and over. 

Our particular package did not have the little voice box thing. So, I can’t really comment on that. Artoo does come with a warranty, though. And apparently Cam was able to get the voice box later through the mail. I hear it is quite annoying to listen to more than once a month. 

Over all, Artoo has his little annoyances, but is extremely fun to build if you are doing it with a bunch of people who are as goofy as you. I’d recommend him to Fan Boys and Girls around the globe. Just don’t push him around too much.

Recommended:  Yes.

As you can see, I’ve never taken a “formal” approach to reviewing.
A few years after I wrote this review, I found another R2-D2 Puzz 3D on super clearance at a department store.  I bought it, and left it unopened.  Not for collector’s value, like most of my unopened Star Wars shit.  But because I knew one day I’d build it, and make Mel laugh again.  She was on the same floor when I built this puzzle, but we didn’t know each other then.  
She laughed senselessly when she saw me wandering around with Artoo on my head as a hat.  Somehow I managed to keep it, unopened and unbuilt, through 6 moves, or more and Jebas knows what else.  Now, it’s been long enough that I’ll wait until I can build it with Charlotte, and make them both laugh senselessly by wearing it as a hat.
If you read all this garbage, Why would you do that?  If you enjoyed it…  Congratulations.. you may just be as batshit crazy as me.