Super Mario Bros. (NES)

Super_Mario_Bros_cover[1]Yesterday may have been Video Game Day–as confirmed by nothing less of a source than today… today is the 30th Anniversary of one of the industry’s most ground breaking accomplishments.  Super Mario Bros. turns 30 goddamn years old today.

There is seriously nothing that I can add to the conversation about this game.

I could marvel at its design–so innovative that its high water mark has only ever really been topped by other games in the same franchise.  I could talk about it cementing Mario as a pop culture icon.  I could share personal anecdotes about trying to reach The Negative World, or playing the game while looking at the TV in a mirror, or wrestling the controller away from a superior Player 1 shouting “Hurry up and die, so I can play!”.  Something Something Iconic Soundtrack, etc., etc.

But everything… everything–good and bad–has been said better by someone else.  Go read and/or watch their stuff.  It’s good, really.

Instead, I’m going to be a lame dad, and share the names my daughter, Charlotte, gave the Goombas (and Koopa Troopa) found on World 1-1.  That’s right, I’m turning a review of an unparalleled gaming classic into a shitty Facebook post.

About 18 months ago, maybe a little more, my daughter and I were playing Super Mario Bros.  It was one of her first times playing any video game, really.  She’d played some Asteroids on the Atari 2600, and some Minecraft on the Xbox 360, and some shitty flash games based on Kids CBC and PBS shows.

In the middle of the umpteenth time that we were rushing through World 1-1, she starts babbling.

“That Goomba’s name is ‘Little Goomba’.  That Goomba is ‘Gate’.  Those two Goombas are ‘Kate’ and ‘Rascal’.  Are Kate and Rascal Little Goomba’s big sisters?  They are, aren’t they, Daddy?  Are they?  Daddy!”

It continued on for the rest of the level, and I was able to jot down the names in between fits of laughing.

World 1-1a

World 1-1b

World 1-1c

World 1-1d

World 1-1e

World 1-1f

World 1-1g

World 1-1h

World 1-1i

I’d say Little Goomba probably holds the World’s Record for most kills.  For me personally, though, I hate Mun Mun.  That little fucker gets you when you come out of that pipe green with coin envy.  “Oh I’ve just gotta have that coin and… doo doo, dee doo doo, dee doo doo, dee doo.

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