As of last Tuesday, the old man and I had been out to see one movie in the last year. It was that possession movie with Jeff Winger in it as a tough guy. We enjoyed it, but being forced to say that’s the best movie we’ve seen together in a year is pretty much a fucking travesty. Theatrically released horror movies are so few and far between now we hardly get out to see anything. When something does come along, Real Life™ comes along and kicks one of us in the balls.
So, when we saw previews for a movie with a possessed doll that looks creepy as fuck we honestly didn’t expect to be able to get out to it. However, the stars and planets aligned and Real Life™ chose to leave our balls alone for a week. Or so we thought.
It turns out that last week, Annabellewas our kick in the balls.
I am not the target audience for this book. I’m so fucking far from the target audience of this book, I should have never even picked it up. But I needed something to round out 10 books for $10 at Salvation Army, and this intrigued me.
I remember seeing the cover and thinking, “What the fuck is this shit?” Bright pink with cutouts around some emoticons and the title is “ttyl”? Ugh. Then I opened it to find bright blue Comic Sans staring me in the face. Comic Sans?
Again, “What the fuck is this shit?” The section I opened to seemed to be a book laid out to look like a Messenger chat-log. I flipped through the pages. Once more, “What the fuck is this shit?” It’s not just one section.
I passed it over to my now-ex but then-wife, Mel. “Have youseen this shit? What the fuck?”
“That’s the stupidest looking book I’ve ever seen. You should buy it,” she said.
Oculus is a suspense/horror movie from writer/director Mike Flanagan. It jumps back and forth telling the horrific story of the Russell family, both in present day, and 12 years ago. Tim Russell (Brenton Thwaites) has finally been released from a mental hospital following past events. His sister Kaylie (Amy Pond Karen Gillan) is convinced a haunted antique mirror was the source of their family’s troubles, and is determined to prove it. Reluctantly, Tim helps her in her plan, expecting what she really needs is help letting go of the past.
I think my expectations were a tad too high for this one. I remember being moderately intrigued by the trailers, but never getting a chance to see it in theatres. Moderate levels of praise kept my expectations tempered in the interim. After learning Flanagan has been given a chance to write and direct Stephen King’s completely unfilmable Gerald’s Game, and that some people thought he was a good choice–largely because of this movie–it moved to the top of my To-See list.
The Raid 2 is writer/director Gareth Evans followup to his well received 2011 kung-fu killing spree, The Raid: Redemption. Iko Uwais returns to the role of Rama, who is sent to prison, undercover, in order to infiltrate a triad of mafia families and bring them down. Once again, the action scenes in The Raid 2 are fantastic, and everything else is just filler. The trouble this time around is that at 2 1/2 hours running time there’s just too damn much of that filler. Continue reading →
Nothing goes as expected on the inaugural morning of the 44th President of the United States, Stephen Blades’, first term. He expected difficulties… partisan politics, economic recovery, two wars overseas, and the need to manage transparency and accountability against safety and secrecy. But nothing would have prepared him for the truth of the situation.
He enters the oval office and is greeted with a letter marked 44. Inside it, outgoing President Carroll admits that the economic instability, fear and war mongering of the last near decade have served one purpose… to hide an Alien construction being built in an asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter from the public, and prepare secret advances in military technology in case their reason for being there isn’t friendly.
Kevin Spacey and crew return for another season of Netflix’s original series House of Cards. All 13 episodes of Season 2 were released on Valentine’s Day. It took me a little less than a week to finally get into them, and a little less than 3 days to get through them all. I’m going to do this review Spoiler Free™to the best of my ability.
I remember back in ‘aught four picking up a new series called Marvel Knights: Spider-man. I’d read a couple issues of other characters under the banner, but mostly I picked it up because I enjoyed Spider-man, and I was still a good two months away from spending every penny I earned on a new computer, high-speed internet, and a little MMORPG called City of Heroes.
Anyway, the title ended up being pretty solid. Late last year, I was excited enough to see the return of the banner (and the actual Peter Parker) that I picked up the first issue of this new limited run.
The story can be summed up very easily. An exhausted and drugged Spider-man is forced to fight his way through a gauntlet of foes. That’s it. It doesn’t get any simpler, folks. And yet, simple ideas often allow for particularly exciting execution.
That’s Brian Dobson, who voiced Skeletor in the 2002 CN Masters of the Universe series, and the great Alan Oppenheimer, who voiced Skeletor (and about half of the rest of the characters) in the original 80s series. They’re playing with figures of the characters they helped make famous (infamous?).
Toki Tori 2+ is a puzzle platformer from mostly-Indie developer Two Tribes. A sequel to a remake of a Game Boy Color game from 2001, it’s available as a downloadable title for the Wii U console, and off Steam for PC and Mac systems (Linux specs are listed, but apparently not supported). You can also pick it up on your iPhone. It’s regular price on Steam is $14.99, and I would assume the Wii U version is comparable. I was able to pick it up as part of a recent Humble Bundle and paid… significantly less.
In the game, you play as a yellow flightless birdlike blob that tries to sing and stomp its way home before its whole world rips apart. At least, that’s what I think is happening. It’s hard to say, because there’s not really any explanation for what’s going on. Along the way lots of other cute little creatures help and hinder your progress. The only reason I started playing it was because I thought it was something cute and easy Charlotte and I could run through.
Well… it starts out that way, anyway. Turns out, the game is actually a giant “Shut The Fuck Up” letter addressed to my entire whiny generation of aging gamers.